This is sitting with me for a while, I think. I appreciate the honest, genuine way you write but here it's particularly powerful since this is something people struggle with even after they've tried to move away from what doesn't work. The profound happiness I've felt in situations when I was able to find connection to others despite being in such a deeply lost place is too important for me to dismiss. It doesn't mean that being that lost, in that much pain, was necessarily worth it. Or negates the harm that is perpetuated or ongoing. But the duality is necessary to acknowledge just as much as we need to accept that we aren't all going to perceive things the same.
I honestly find it much more freeing, now, compared to wanting to shove my experiences into neat boxes or prescribe a framework! It means I have more opportunity to recognize and understand myself, explore what I can learn or will get out of situations. I guess...in a way, that might be why it's so difficult to accept. If I give myself the opportunity to grapple with the nuance of my experience(s) in this area of my life, I might start to wonder about what other ways I'm stifling myself or being stifled.
This is sitting with me for a while, I think. I appreciate the honest, genuine way you write but here it's particularly powerful since this is something people struggle with even after they've tried to move away from what doesn't work. The profound happiness I've felt in situations when I was able to find connection to others despite being in such a deeply lost place is too important for me to dismiss. It doesn't mean that being that lost, in that much pain, was necessarily worth it. Or negates the harm that is perpetuated or ongoing. But the duality is necessary to acknowledge just as much as we need to accept that we aren't all going to perceive things the same.
I honestly find it much more freeing, now, compared to wanting to shove my experiences into neat boxes or prescribe a framework! It means I have more opportunity to recognize and understand myself, explore what I can learn or will get out of situations. I guess...in a way, that might be why it's so difficult to accept. If I give myself the opportunity to grapple with the nuance of my experience(s) in this area of my life, I might start to wonder about what other ways I'm stifling myself or being stifled.